I have one of those personalities that enables me to “think” I can do just about anything. I say “yes” and figure it out along the way. That attitude has served me well, but it’s also been my “thorn in the flesh.”
In my early twenties, I was a young, stay-at-home mom with a need to make a difference. My church became the place I directed that energy. It was a small church that had few workers. The first time I went to church there I played the piano for the service, because there was no one else to do it.
In my years as a stay-at-home mom, I directed the youth choir, directed the children’s’ Christmas programs, was a youth camp counselor, typed up the bulletins each week, volunteered to play the organ, with only one month of organ lessons and on and on and on…you get the picture.
Years later when I entered the work world, I had pretty much the same attitude, “If I can do it, I should do it.”
Yes, I was seen as a valued church member and employee, but I would eventually burnout and then pull away from everything and miss the great opportunities because I said “yes” to good opportunities.
I don’t do this anymore.
No, I didn’t go to some twelve-step program or years of therapy. My solution was so simple, yet so many people, I would say most people live their whole lives without discovering it.
Don’t get me wrong, all of those years molded me into the person I am today. I believe I was doing exactly what I was supposed to do for that season of my life. When we’re young with no experience, we get experience by stepping out and trying new things.
But eventually we CAN do more than we should do. How do we know when to say yes and when to say no?
We have to know our purpose. We have to know our reason for being on this earth.
See, I told you it was simple. But it takes time and introspection. Helping leaders find their purpose it what LeadershipTen is all about. It’s funny, Mark, Robb and I say L10 is sort of therapy for us. Allowing others to learn from our bloody knees makes it seem worth it.
Finding your purpose is a three-step process:
- Create your personal definition of success.
- Clearly define your core values.
- Write out your life’s purpose
This isn’t something that can be done it a day. But it’s worth the time and effort. Once you work through these three steps, this information becomes your most important decision-making tool.
No longer do I say “yes” and ask questions later.
When a need or opportunity presents itself, I ask myself three questions:
- Does this opportunity align with my personal definition of success?
- Does this opportunity align with my core values?
- Does this opportunity help me to fulfill my reason for being on this earth?
If the answer to these three questions is Yes, then I will seriously consider it. If the answer to any of the three questions is No, then I will pass on this opportunity.
This process works with companies as well as individuals. I challenge you to do the work so that you will have this tool at your disposal the next time an opportunity presents itself.
If you would like to learn more about finding you or your organization’s purpose, please fill out the information below:
