Did you Communicate what I meant or what I said? (part 3)

Again, as stated in the last two communication series blogs: In the words of Margaret Millar, the suspense and mystery writer in the mid-1900’s, “Most conversations are just simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness”. Welcome to Communication Blog Part III………..

You might recall our last 2 conversations about communication.  We defined it and talked about the first element……..communicating completely what I said, and communicating what you interpreted. Let’s recap:

Communication. Impartation. Transmission. Dispatch. Whatever you call it….it’s not always easy to do.

Communication is spoken or unspoken conduct that lets other people know what you’re thinking. It is an exchange of thoughts, messages, or information.

 I know what I’m trying to say, so you must not hear me correctly.

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant” so says Mark Twain.

So now, part III

So, what is the problem with communication? In my experience working with more than 260 organizations, it usually consists of 3 things.

  1. You didn’t communicate completely what I said
  2. You communicated with your own interpretation
  3. You assumed all was communicated

In this week’s blog, …….number 3 and final.

Communicate without assuming.

You were asked to communicate 3 things to your team. And told to do it in person. So you do so, but not to everyone at the same time, or the same way, and/or maybe you relied on others to communicate instead of yourself.

Example: I am supposed to communicate items from the CEO to my department.  Only 6 of my 12 team members are present today, so I communicate all 3 items to them, in person, as required. BUT, between the time my next 6 are at work, the original 6 communicate to them what I said. The next group shows up for their shift and a couple scenarios happen.

  • I go to employee 1 and say, “I have some things I need to share with you”. Employee 1 says, “oh, yea, I already heard that from Employee 6” I say, “ok, we’re good”.
  • I talk to my team as a group and say, ““I have some things I need to share with you”. The team listens, but not completely. I didn’t verify that all heard what I said, and didn’t have them repeat back what I said. 
    • I liken it to this: If you have ever had dinner with your family and they are having a conversation about something, and you tune out for a few minutes……then later in the evening ask you child a question and she says, “Dad, we just talked about that during dinner”. I was there for the conversation…….but may have not heard everything.

We call those things ASSUMPTIONS. And if you know the popular phrase when we assume…..we make…..well, you get it.

We assume that all was heard.  Or we assume that what we communicated to employee 1 was told exactly to employee 6. We assume what was said is what we meant, or what we indicated, or…………..well, again, you get it.

Just as I told you in the last 2 posts about my filtering what I thought my team needed to know, using ‘my interpretation’ to the message, the same holds for assumptions. Communicate what you are required to do…..and don’t hold back, don’t assume  

What if you worked in an area that was focused on safety, quality, life and death situations?  What if you interpreted things the way YOU wanted to?  What if you ASSUMED things were communicated………life and death situations? I think you would not.  So why do we allow it for other forms of communication.  

So, what do you do:

  1. Begin conversations with “I have some things that are very important for you to know, please write them down.”
  2. Then said, “after I communicate, I need to ensure you heard what I said, so I will ask you to repeat it”.
  3. To follow up, you send an email with the same information.
  4. You communicate directly with every employee as directed by the CEO (in our scenario above) and don’t just assume.

Just a few simple ideas to get you started on communicating more effectively and eliminating miscommunication.

Do you struggle with communicating well? Does your organization have a fluid, naturally flowing method to communicate? On a scale of 1-10, 1 being what is communication……..& 10 being we communicate so well, people hear it before it’s said, how would you rate your organization, team, self? If it’s less than 9…….let us know how we can assist………..

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