Did you Communicate what I meant or what I said…? (part 2)

In the words of Margaret Millar, the suspense and mystery writer in the mid-1900’s, “Most conversations are just simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness”. Welcome to Communication Blog Part II………..

You might recall our last conversation about communication.  We defined it and talked about the first element……..communicating completely what I said. Let’s recap:

Communication. Impartation. Transmission. Dispatch. Whatever you call it….it’s not always easy to do.

Communication is spoken or unspoken conduct that lets other people know what you’re thinking. It is an exchange of thoughts, messages, or information.

 I know what I’m trying to say, so you must not hear me correctly.

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant” so says Mark Twain.

So now, part II

So, what is the problem with communication? In my experience working with more than 260 organizations, it usually consists of 3 things.

  1. You didn’t communicate completely what I said
  2. You communicated with your own interpretation
  3. You assumed all was communicated

In this week’s blog, …….number 2. Number 3 will be in a subsequent blog……….so, stay tuned.

Communicate without your own interpretation.

You were asked to communicate 3 things to your team. So you do so, but with your own spin, or your own ideas of what is meant, rather than what the original communicator said and meant. Or, you decide that your team really doesn’t need to know it all.

Example: I am supposed to communicate items from the CEO to my department.  I interpret the ideas, concepts, information in a way that I see it, and deliver it with my spin on it. I deliver it with my bias, or attitude. I don’t deliver it with positivity or clarity. I make my team see the information as less than ideal.

It might sound something similar to this: “Hey, the boss wants you to know about the upcoming changes to the computer system. I’m really not in favor, but here’s what she said you need to know. Let’s try to get thru it the best we can, but you know how most changes go….it only gets worse before it gets better.”

Sound familiar? Maybe you have said it like that before…….and I am sure you have had a boss or two over the years who shared information in a comparable fashion.

Just as I told you in the last post about my filtering what I thought my team needed to know, the same way I used to talk to my team with ‘my interpretation’. I am embarrassed to say it now, but I did try to make myself look good at the expense of my boss. Made him out to be the bad guy… and I was the one they could count on to make it thru.

But, what if you changed the way you communicate change, or ideas, or information? What if you took the information and presented it in a way that helps your team, your boss, your organization.

Instead of:

  1. It’ll get worse before it gets better – you said – Even tomorrow we will see good things happening because of this change
  2. Let’s try to get thru as best we can – you said – This is going to be good for all of us, and we will work together to make it happen
  3. This is not really a great idea, but the boss said we have to – you said – I know it’s new, but change can be a very good thing for us, and we need to grow

Just a few simple ideas to get you started on communicating more effectively and eliminating your own interpretation.

Do you struggle with communicating well? Does your organization have a fluid, naturally flowing method to communicate? On a scale of 1-10, 1 being what is communication……..& 10 being we communicate so well, people hear it before it’s said, how would you rate your organization, team, self? If it’s less than 9…….let us know how we can assist………..

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may also like these