Do you enjoy bike riding?
I do.
For the last ten years, I’ve ridden my beach cruiser many miles on the bike trail outside our subdivision. I grab some water and a phone and take off. Only once have I had to call my husband, Harry, in those ten years of riding, to pick me up.
It was because of a flat tire,
which was flat when I left the house…
I just didn’t notice.
This spring I got a new bike with 7 speeds, and Harry started riding my old one. It didn’t take long for him to decide he also needed a “real bike,” as he called it.
So, the process of getting him a bike began. Purchasing the bike was actually the easy part. Harry really liked my bike, but the ones like mine in the store weren’t a color he wanted; so he decided to keep my bike…. and I got a new one.
Here’s where things got interesting. Now that we both had bikes and we both went riding together, Harry told me about the bike rules:
- We had to wear helmets.
- We need front and rear lights.
- We must have bike locks.
- We needed a bag on the back with a first aid kit.
- We needed some extra bungee cords, just in case we wanted to carry something.
- Harry needed a mirror attached to his helmet.
- We needed a bike rack for the car.
- We needed something called a “fully functional trailer hitch.”
In the world of the D-I-S-C behavioral styles, (you can read more about this here) the above example is classic when two or more opposing behavioral styles work on a project together. It’s also pretty typical in marriage. Opposites attract, but they can be hard to live with!
Here’s what’s going on:
Dianne’s Dominant behavioral style says, “Let’s just go for it!”
Harry’s Compliant behavioral style says, “We have safety procedures that need to be followed.”
D-I-S-C measures the behaviors that give us the most and least energy. We can operate and do well in all of the behavioral styles, but we have one, or usually two, that energize us….and the other two drain the energy from us.
If I had insisted, Harry would just throw caution to the wind and jump on the bike and go. He could do that, but he gets stressed when he thinks he’s not prepared, and won’t enjoy the experience. Conversely, If I had to spend three days getting ready, I would have probably lost my motivation.
Think about a project you are working on with your team. If you have a team of 6-8, most likely you will have all four behavioral styles represented in that group. We all want our teams energized and engaged , but if the person leading isn’t creating an environment where ALL behaviors can be energized, the creativity and progress will be low, and the tension and conflict will be high.
How do you solve this dilemma?
Focus on each other’s strengths. Ask lots of questions, such as, “from your perspective, how should we proceed.” Gathering all of this info from each individual on your team before you begin, gets their thoughts on the table. The best plans happen when you use the strengths of ALL the team. Be thankful, if you have all four strong, different behavior styles on your team. If you work with them, not against them, this will be one of the best teams you’ve ever worked with.
Yes, we will be purchasing all of Harry’s essential elements for bike-riding,
but
we’re not waiting for everything to be perfect to start!
That’s our COMPROMISE.
On my next post, I’ll share about the final two elements of D-I-S-C: Influencing and Steady.
If you would like to learn more about bring D-I-S-C assessments and workshops to your organization, please fill out the contact info below.
