It was a beautiful, sunny day on Saturday. As soon as the kids had breakfast, they were out the door and headed straight for the pond. Immediately, they picked up anything resembling a rock (it was mostly globs of red clay) and started throwing them in the water.
The water was extremely flat, so every ripple was noticeable. I’m no scientist but it seemed as though the bigger, heavier rocks made more ripples. So, if this principle holds true, the ripples from a large rock will travel further than the ripples from small rocks.
Let’s take this principle into the world of leadership.
“Leadership is Influence.” That’s how John Maxwell defined it years ago and it’s really stuck in the world of leadership. This is certainly a strong definition but if I were a young leader (click here to see how we work with young leaders at L10), my first question would be…
Influence sounds like a great idea, but how do I get influence?
In keeping with my rocks analogy,
The first big rock that causes a big splash and long-lasting ripples are relationships.
Sounds simple, right? But in 2022, anything involving people isn’t simple. Before you can work on your first relationship you have to settle something once and for all.
Are people valuable for what they can do for you and help you attain, or are they valuable because they’re human?
If you just shake your head and say relationships are important because I can’t get where I want to go without them, you’re going to struggle to have long-term influence. When we truly value people for who they are, not what they can do, they feel it and they act accordingly.
If you value a person, you value their uniqueness. You ask questions to get to know them better. You give them your most precious possession, your time. When successful, busy people stop and take time to look a person in the eye and really listen to understand, it starts a connection that hundreds of email campaigns could never compete with.
The second big influencing rock is trust.
In the days of our grandparents, people trusted people quickly until they gave them a reason not to trust. Their word was their bond. Business deals were made with a handshake. In today’s world though, trust is not a given. If you’re like me, these days you check people out before you do business with them–look at the reviews of their company, check with the better business bureau, look at their social media presence, etc. The list of ways to vet people and businesses is endless.
What are we looking for when we are “researching?” For me it all boils down to this question:
Can I trust this person?
I want to know if they’re a person or company who overpromises and under delivers, do they do what they say they’re going to do. If I read their reviews and most people say they’re trustworthy, I will give them a chance but not three chances. I don’t think I’m alone in my attitude. It’s a very hard time to be in business.
Which is more important, the rock of relationships or the rock of trust? Does one trump the other?
That would be hard to say. If there was a long trusting relationship, perhaps one breach of trust could be overlooked. Unless that mistake affected the receiver’s core values.
There’s a third rock that propels influence like a rocket ship once the relationship connection has been made and trust has been established. One, simple word, yet so difficult to honestly measure —Humility.
How do you define humility?
My favorite definition is from Kay Warren, wife of Rick Warren, pastor, and author of “The Purpose Driven Life.”
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less. Humility is thinking more of others.”
When you think about the person in front of you, the next client, the next leader you’ll develop, your spouse, or your children, instead of yourself—humility will naturally occur. This sounds easy but in today’s self-centered culture, it takes intentional effort NOT to think about yourself.
From our years of experience, academic and observational knowledge, and the latest documented research…
to make a lasting impact
to have that influence all leaders want
there must be relationships with depth, where trust can grow.
Once this level one influence is reached, it will be a posture of humility that produces an exponential impact (as Robb’s shares here) from the efforts of that person or organization that causes their influence to have that big rock ripple that goes on and on.
Influence is one of our Core Values at LeadershipTEN. Our vision is to develop leaders who will boldly impact their organizations, communities, and families. As you can imagine, WE THINK ABOUT OUR INFLUENCE every day!
Do you want this for your organization but struggle to get there? Contact us below. We can help.
