As leaders we read much about the importance to listening. Somewhere I remember reading leaders should spend 80% of their time listening and only 20% speaking.
I certainly do not dispute that thinking. What I do wonder about is how well, as leaders, we truly understand what listening involves?
I always struggle understanding the distinction between hearing and listening. Aren’t they just synonyms for each other; is there any difference?
When I stop to consider these two dynamics, I am inclined to believe there is a MASSIVE difference between hearing and listening; they are not at all the same things.
I submit the difference lies in giving and taking.
How so?? Hearing and listening have NOTHING to do with our ears.
The distinction between hearing and listening revolves entirely around one thing – ATTENTION!
Here is the breakdown:
- HEARING – something GRABS our attention.
- LISTENING – we GIVE something our attention.
When we work to give our full attention to others, it is then that we really do LISTEN.
My point? Our ability to genuinely GIVE our attention to something REQUIRES effort on our part to be aware and intentional about where our attention is directed.
As I’m writing today’s blog, my wife and I are in Hawaii on vacation. It is our first time to this amazing part of God’s beautiful creation!
We are spending the first half of our vacation on Maui. Earlier this week we went to the Haleakalā National Park (Haleakalā National Park (U.S. National Park Service) (nps.gov). At the heart of the park, at about 9,500 feet above sea level, is a dormant volcanic crater. To say it was an impressive sight is beyond an understatement! So, what is my point??
We were hiking a trail around the crater, and we took a moment to sit down and try and soak in the truly indescribable scenery. With everything that was in me I tried to give my complete ATTENTION to every part of the moment, every part – it absolutely deserved it!
As I did, at 9,500 feet THERE WAS A FLY – SERIOUSLY???? My wife and I were sitting on a rock ledge overlooking the crater, someplace we may never see again, wanting to capture the moment and a stupid fly buzzed all around us.
The fly totally grabbed my attention – I HEARD it. I could not help but hear it. It buzzed around my face and was absolutely the only sound besides our breathing. I struggled, distracted from the beauty of the place, incredulous with the thought that a fly was there distracting me.
Amid this happening, I was quickly reminded about the difference between HEARING and LISTENING. The thought occurred to me; I just had a very real experience that clearly showed me the distinction that does exist between these two realities.
Getting back to the leadership consideration, what is it that is grabbing your attention as a leader? Conversely, and more importantly, what is it that you are giving your attention to as a leader? Perhaps the real question we all must face as leaders – ARE WE actually giving our attention to anything? Or, are we leading constantly having our attention grabbed?
At LEADERSHIPTEN we have worked to develop a communication model (Workshops – LEADERSHIPTEN) that explores the elements that contribute to how leaders can effectively communicate. LISTENING (v. hearing) is an essential part of that model.
So, . . . watch out for the flies that impose themselves, grabbing your attention, demanding to be heard.
Instead, as a caring leader, GIVE YOUR ATTENTION to what really does matter, LISTEN.
